All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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