were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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