so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We had to coat check the pizza.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
