I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
