he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
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So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
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You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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