i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
