me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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