Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
