its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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