My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize