Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
