I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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