Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
