he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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