marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
