People with herpes should wear stickers.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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