Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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