well you can't waste a boner
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
