How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
