god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
