i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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