just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
