You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
