Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
