Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
handjob tips. give me some.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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