im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
