He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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