i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
