Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
