Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
