But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
