somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
