quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
