Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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