What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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