while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I think i got beer on your cat.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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