I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
