He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
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Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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