Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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