Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
