I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I need moral support for this bender
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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