i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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