remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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