In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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