Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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