He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
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You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
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We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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