fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
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Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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