I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
