I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
