kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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