My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
