there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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