I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Sorry about my life...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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