And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
