if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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